5 Ways to Be Happier
If you’re feeling let down after lots of parties, and presents, and travel, and reality is hitting you in the face — the credit card bills will be coming soon and if you’re dreading the cold, wind, and nasty weather of Winter, you might be feeling gloomy. I believe happiness is an inside job and you determine your capacity for how happy you can be. Here are some tried and true methods for you to try if you’re feeling low.
First - Practice Gratitude
Gratitude can transform your perspective on life, I know it did for me. When I was depressed after my mother and a very close friend died, I saw my depression lift after immersing myself in a daily gratitude practice. When I focused on what I had instead of what was missing - and there was a big hole in my life - I cultivated a sense of abundance and contentment. And you can too.
If you want a quick dopamine hit, you can either make a list of a bunch of your favorite things or you can focus on the many reasons why you like one thing. For example, you can think of and even better write down 10 things you like about your dog or cat. Or what are your favorite 10 foods? Or what 10 things make you happy no matter what? Try it. You can actually feel love and happiness grow in your heart with each grateful thought.
When I did this exercise recently, this is what I put down.
I am grateful for:
Flowers on my walk
The sound of the birds chirping
My first sip of coffee
My dog’s wagging tail
Sunsets
A hot shower after a stressful day
Getting the giggles (even better when it’s with someone special)
Getting lost in a book
Going to the movies and eating candy and popcorn without any of distractions that I have at home
That feeling after a workout or a yoga class know it was good for my mind, body, and soul
Our dog, Oreo, brings me so much joy so I thought of what she had brought into my life:
We’re usually together but if I go out without her she greets me with tail wags and joy when I walk through the door
She is good company - she’s usually by my side
She smiles when she’s happy
She makes sure I go for multiple walks every day
She entertains me - she makes me laugh
She reminds me not to take everything so seriously
She is an important part of our family
She is fun to snuggle with
She reminds me that it’s the simple pleasures that bring the greatest joy
She makes me feel productive because she naps a lot. Lol.
The possibilities are nearly endless. When you take the time to appreciate the little things, you nourish your soul and lift your spirits.
Once you have done that and realized the benefits, you can do a daily practice every day and write down 3 things you are thankful for and watch your spirits lift.
2) Adjust Your Expectations
I’m not sure if you know this, but overwhelm is a choice. You have options. Instead of being overwhelmed, you can break down what you need to do into small manageable steps. For example, if you have a goal to run your first 5k, you don’t start out by running 5k on the first day. You find an amount you can run or run and walk and then incrementally increase your distance.
You can break your goals down into mini goals, and then you can break those down into tasks that you can do on a daily basis. That’s what I do. In other words, most things take time. You need to change your expectations to give room for that time.
3) Make Good Use of Your Time
We all have the same 24 hours but sometimes it seems like other people get more done in an hour than others can get done in a day. I think you already know this, but if you procrastinate, it actually takes longer because of the time you wasted before buckling down and doing the thing.
It’s not easy. We live in a society with a lot of distractions. Our phones are so addictive. How many times do you pick up your phone to see what time it is or what the weather is and the next thing you know you have been on social media and email and you still don’t know what time it is!
You have two choices: You can maximize your productivity in the time you are given or you can waste it procrastinating. Here are a few ways that you can make the most of your time.
Prioritize what you need to do and do the hardest or the most important thing first
Make a list of your other to do’s and focus on doing one at a time
Celebrate your small wins! Do a happy dance or get outside. Do something that makes you happy.
Make sure you take breaks. You need to eat and stretch and get outside every day. Let your breaks energize you. Prevent burnout.
Keep a list of what you have done so you can actually see how productive you have been. Most people make a to do list. I think it’s fun to make a Done list. I kept a list of all the things I did over a 4 week period a year ago. I learned that dreading doing something is usually worse than actually doing it.
Limit distractions. I have a minimal number of notifications. I only need to know about phone calls and texts. The rest can wait.
I don’t know about you but it makes me feel good to be productive and wasting time and procrastinating does the opposite.
That being said…
4) Be Kind to Yourself
There will be days, sometimes periods of time, when you just can’t get much done. Give yourself some compassion. If you are a caretaker, just focus on what’s most important. And promise me that you will not beat yourself up. That is counterproductive.
Just take one step at a time. Be strong and be kind to yourself and just keep going. If you are struggling from grief or a difficult family situation, dig deep to find your inner strength and resilience. Separate yourself and focus on what you can do.
Don’t forget, if you are having a rough day and you only have 40% to give because you are tired or stressed, and you give 40%, guess what? You gave 100%! You gave all that you had. Remember that. Be kind and compassionate with yourself. Beating yourself up will never make you happy or improve the situation.
5) Laugh More
Laughter is contagious. If you really want to connect with joy, find a reason to laugh. Whether it’s a funny video, or playing with your pet, or calling that friend who always makes you laugh. Make laughter a priority. I love to laugh and get the giggles. It is so good for the soul.
If you're struggling to laugh or even smile, try this simple trick: put a pencil in your mouth. It forces your facial muscles into a smile, and while it might not be genuine at first, it can get you started. Over time, this physical act can help you find more reasons to smile and laugh genuinely.
There is more to life than just going through the motions. Become intentional so you seek joy and appreciate the little things in life. Gratitude is a life-changing practice that you can do every day. That’s how I begin my day and it sets the tone for the day ahead. When you manage your expectations and break things down, you can prevent overwhelm. And don’t let procrastination get the best of you. It might be difficult to focus in our society, but you’ll be glad if you make good use of your time. But if you’re like me, some days never quite get off the ground. Give yourself some grace if you are going through a difficult time. Laughter will help you re-connect with joy. You can be happier. Try some of these ideas and let me know what works for you!
